Recovery Fartleks
I ran to a tree, walked to the next one; ran 20 steps on the concrete sidewalk, walked 20 more; ran to the traffic light, walked across the crosswalk – doing Fartleks. No, it’s not some Swedish word for f**k. Runners will know it means speedplay, or changing speeds for short intervals during a workout. It’s a handy drill in a runner’s toolkit for improving speed and endurance. It’s also a little psychological mind trick to push you out of your comfort zone and gently nudge you back on track if you’ve had a running gap or if you’re stuck in a rut.
I don’t have much speed or endurance right now. The difference between my speed and walking segments was marginal, but my aim wasn’t about pacing. Today, it was twofold: get out there and sweat out some Covid virus (if that’s possible); and take in a low dose of running therapy.
Running has been my drug of choice for decades. I ran consistently about 9 miles a day, almost every day since 1998 (think miles = milligrams) and that volume kept me somewhat mentally stable. The rewards were many: keeping depression at bay and elevating my mood; holding my weight steady; and boosting my immune system to keep me healthy. My clothes fit, I ate healthfully, I kept my anger in check, and when I needed an outlet for working through emotional upheaval, an hour or two of releasing natural pain-relieving endorphins did the trick. Research shows regular exercise boosts levels of serotonin and dopamine in your brain, chemicals that affect mood, happiness, and stress levels. These are the basis of anti-depressant medications. I always sought the benefits of running and eschewed supplemental chemicals.
Well, I’ve been off my meds. As a result, the depression has returned and it is fierce and solid, fueled by grief, and compounded by loss. Loved ones, home, a sense of place, purpose, independence, time, fitness, mental strength and the ability to cope – I’ve lost them all. Indifference reigns and colors my outlook grey and hopeless. How can I find my way back somehow?
Today I took one baby step and ran recovery fartleks. I’ve got a long road ahead.